The list of potential financial mistakes made while divorcing can be extensive. It is an exhausting, emotional time for everyone. Every money decision is emotional to begin with, and this stress just adds to the mix.  Divorce and finances can become complicated and dividing assets can be complex, which is why the finance industry CDFA © designation exists. Long ago, lawyers used to divide assets on a spreadsheet. But as finances grow in complexity, it is important to talk with your accountant on how to prepare for divorce financially and to have a CDFA do the work for you.

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA©) is an industry designated financial expert on helping divorcing couples understand how the financial decisions they make could impact their future.

A CDFA is part of the divorce team. Think of the lawyer as the strategist – they are experts on the law and hired to represent your overall interest when it comes to child custody and financial matters.  The CDFA supports the lawyer by helping you understand where you spend your money today, how it will change when you separate, and how it could further change in the future.

In order to be the best Money Coach possible to my clients, a well-rounded understanding of all milestones you might face is crucial. I’m pleased to say I’m now a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and I am going to share some of the basics to help you start on the right foot if you are wondering how to divorce.

As mentioned in my last blog, these behaviors come from Sarah Fallaw of Data Points. She created a Household Cash Job Description, which is a simple, brilliant way of defining specific money behaviors so we can stay focused on what counts.  Financial literacy is part of it, but not all of it, which explains why many people in financial services don’t manage their money particularly well either. Ever heard of the man who makes $2 million a year and wants to retire by 35? He has one small challenge – he spends $3 million a year. Yep. Believe it. We all know one.

Sarah Fallaw is CEO of Data Points, and also the daughter of Thomas J. Stanley, author of The Millionaire Next Door. I’m a fan of hers, and I have lived my life by that book. For anyone who has worked in a company where you have a job description, Sarah has come up with a brilliant, simple job description for managing our every day cash. 

It’s fair to say I would never be mistaken for a fashionista. Most of my wardrobe reflects my career in financial services, except when I break out and rebel. This year I bought a fun pair of flowery shoes for spring and summer. While running around New York City one day, 3 different men came up to me and said “I really like your shoes”. No joke.  Then 2 more men came up to me another day. This never happens to me. (BTW my shoes were only $70).

Are you interested in one small mindset change that reduces Anxiety, increases Control and Saves Money? What if I said this one thing wouldn’t take much time? Would you be interested? I think so! Here it is: Define Your Opportunity Cost. 

I’ve been a fan of Neuroscience for a few years now. It not only appeals to my inner geek, but it assists me in being the best coach possible for my clients. Did you know that our Amygdala, that has served us well since the dawn of time when it helped us decide on fight or flight, now doesn’t serve us quite so well?  Very simplistically, if we are bitten by a dog while talking about money, our Amygdala may decide that money is pretty scary.  When we hear the word, it will tell us to RUN.

The word Mantra comes from the Hindu and Buddhist religions, representing a repetitive chant of word or phrase. For those of us in the North American culture, the use of mantra loosely refers to a set of beliefs or phrase tied to motivation. It's our mindset.

I interviewed a client a number of months ago, and it became clear she was strongly driven by “productivity”.  Productivity is a very North American word – something that our culture values. “Time is Money” comes to mind immediately.  However, sometimes a productivity mantra is too narrow. Here is an example of how my client’s money mindset sabotaged her money behaviors.

Thanks to my colleague Tod for this title and question that prompted my thinking.  Tod has been dating a woman for about a year, and his friends inquired whether Tod had “done the CVS run with her yet?”  Tod sought clarification.  Apparently, it is a wonder that a woman can spend $200 in CVS in just minutes, and fit it all easily into her purse.  As a woman, this does not surprise me at all.  So why does it surprise men?